My Fears

I have many fears that I am afraid of. Most fears, I can handle them and turn them into normal when I get used to it. However, some of them, I do not know how to handle up until now. I try to get used to them. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I try, I still cannot control them.

1. Fear of taking exams

I don’t know how many exams that I have taken since I started my first class at school up until now; although, I still afraid of taking exams. I try to prepare and be ready before the exams, but during the exam, I still nervous and forget everything I prepare and I don’t know where and what should I start doing the exams. I try to calm down, and keep confusing on exams. Moreover, I always encourage and I talk to myself that I can do it, I will pass this exam. I cannot stop the time, and I have to keep working on my test. Finally, I can finish all tests with or without confidences. Sometime I don’t know what I did during exam because I feel so confusing, and I feel like I don’t know anything about the exam. Only the time will tell I can or cannot control this feeling. I will be crazy if I have exam every day. Happily, I do not it.

2. Fear of doing something in a hurry

I don’t like anybody tell me to complete any jobs for short period of time. Fortunately, when I was in Cambodia, my boss never ordered me to do something in a hurry, but one in a while, he asked to do that and I can do half of the job; eventually, he accept what I have done because he knew that I tried my best and very hard to fulfilled the task. Sean always gives me a pop up writing essay in just 30 minutes, yet I don’t blame him because he wants me to be a good writer. I need more time than other people to do some jobs because I cannot do any things quickly as other people do. Maybe it is my culture or habit. I always do something very slow.

3. Fear of flying

I don’t like to fly to anywhere. I hate talking the fly. One hour on the plan like on month on the earth. I always keep thinking about this and that. Stupid things pop up in my mind every minute. I cannot stop myself from thinking. I try to take some sleep; on the other hand, I cannot sleep. Some people try to take some beer or wine to make them fall asleep. Anyway, I do not want to drink beer or wine to make me sleepy in the airplane. I usually look at the LCD screen to know where I am now, when I will arrive. When I had a trip to Malaysia, this was my first time that I took an airplane. I feel very frighten; nonetheless, I could handle it because it took only two hours. When I took an airplane to America, it was a very changeling for me. I had to fly from Phnom Penh to Seoul for six hours and From Seoul to Los Angeles for nine hours. It was a crazy time for me. If I can avoid talking a fly I will. When I graduate, I will go back to Cambodia and will not fly back to America.

4. Fear of snake

I hate and afraid of snake that is still alive, but I love to eat snake because the taste is very delicious. I am allergic to the snake. Whenever I see the snakes I will throw something to force them to go away from me. Some snake is not dangerous, no poison, and cannot kill me; however, I feel very bad about snake. I used to touch the snake. It made me so frightened. I don’t want to touch it. I don’t know how I can tell you about its skin. It is very smooth, red and shiny. It looks wet but it is not. Sometime I wonder why some people love snakes very much, raise them in their home, and treat them as pets.

5. Fear of death

Some people might not afraid of death, but I feel not good when I think about that. Whenever I think about it, I could do any things. I don’t know what I should do or what I need to do if someone told me I will die tomorrow. I sometime think about what will happen to me. It sounds like crazy when I think of death. Truly, I will die someday but why I need to afraid of death. I stop thinking about it when I try to convince myself that I have a lot of time and thing to do before I am death. I will be death but maybe I will die at age of 80 or something, I don’t need to care about that.

6. Fear of losing beloved persons.

Some people might have bad experiences of losing some value properties such as money, car, jewels, gems, diamond, gold, cell phone, or laptop and priceless properties such as key, pen, pencils, unused stuff, sun glasses or shoes. When losing something, I feel a little bit said; but a few days later, I will forget it. When losing a person I loved, it took me years to forget. When I was young, I always slept next to my grandfather and played with him. My grandfather passed away when I was 10 years old. At that time, I was very young, but I still had this feeling. I cried and felt very sad. I always cried when I think about my grandfather and I played together. It took me about three years to forget this fear. Losing family members or person I love is the thing that I fear the most. If I could stop the clock, I would. I want to keep the happy hour that I spend with my grandfather and I do not want to lost him and also other people who I love.

I read Karen and CyndyChen's blog.